Blessings and Beauty: Day 45

Today I think my mom is beautiful. My mom and I have always been extraordinarily close. We live out in the country, far from the city where most of our daily lives took place. My mom worked there, and I took ballet classes in the city. For ten years we would spend an hour each way just talking in the car. Of course there were fights and crying and laughing and singing, but mostly there was talking. We knew everything there was to know about each other as humans because we spent so much time together. Our relationship has never been like my friends’ relationships with their moms. Our relationship started somewhere special and remains special because of it.

I love spending time with my mom. I’m eighteen. How many eighteen year old girls do you know that can say that? My mom and I like the same TV shows. We listen to some of the same music. We like the same movies. We have the same initials, and I can’t even tell you how many times I have been called her name instead of my own. I just started responding to it because it became part of my life! My point is that we are so alike and we can share so much of ourselves, that I feel like the luckiest daughter alive. My mom is so beautiful. She gets me on a level that is only attainable through years of tears and whispers. Even though I am difficult to read, I know that I can explain my problems to her and she will really listen. Her responses are those of a mom’s – but also of a friend. She doesn’t boss me around because she knows me well enough to know that I don’t respond well to that. She knows that talking to me and just having a conversation is so much more productive and enriching than simple yelling and commands.

My mom is beautiful because of our relationship. She is beautiful because she has a heart of gold that would welcome any child into our home in a moment’s notice. She is witty and makes good jokes. She loves looking at baby feet and smelling their heads. She loves peanut butter and apples. She always played John Denver in the car growing up and she knew the numbers for all our favorite songs. She is beautiful because she is so body confident. She has a few lumps, but she is also committed to her healthy lifestyle. She is a fighter. She gives good hugs. Has gorgeously shaped legs. She loves pistachio ice cream with cherries. Her hair is short like mine, but courser and with more volume. Her eyes are bright all the time. Her nose turns up at the end. She adores my sister and I with all her heart. She married my dad, who is rough around the edges and strong and good. She can tell me stories about before he was rough. She laughs at all of his jokes, even though they aren’t funny. She fell in love with him on their first date.

My mom is beautiful because she is see-through. Her transparency sparkles in every part of our home. She likes to cuddle and watch TV for hours, but is also a bit of a stress cleaner. She likes to listen to books, but can’t seem to sit down and read them like I can. She is beautiful. Every single part of her is beautiful. I am so glad God gave me to her to play the role of her daughter. I am so glad I am so lucky as to be her girl.

But right now she is sick. Really sick. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong. They can’t seem to find an answer. She has been on three different antibiotics. Her fevers and chills return nightly, and seem to be getting worse this week. She is plagued by RA (Rheumatoid arthritis) and her drugs for that are dangerous and weaken her immune system. For an entire month she has been dealing with this. If you have read this far, please say a prayer for her. As I write this she is at an appointment to go over some tests she had done. We are praying for good news – but really any news would be welcomed at this point. The mystery of the illness is not comforting. Here is a link to a short post I did on her illness a few weeks ago. If you would be so kind as to click it and read my prayer for her, I would be so grateful. Otherwise, thank you for reading about my mom. She deserves every thought and prayer that the world can give her – even if she doesn’t think so. She is beautiful.


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